The world is full wise old men who will tell you all the important bits of information that you need to complete your world-saving quest… if you live in a fictional epic about that sort of thing. Problem is, these wise old men never tell you the whole story, do they? They give you half. Or a quarter. They tell you the truth, but they reframe it like it’s an old story, or a play that they saw at this really good theatre once. They teach you lessons like they are doling out candy—too good to eat all at once.
But surely that can’t always be true.
Albus Dumbledore kept a lot of things from Harry Potter throughout his years at Hogwarts, and even after his death. But the hardest part about these secrets is that they were often revealed strategically, or Harry had to find them out for himself in the most traumatizing way possible. Here are the worst five. Well, maybe the worst. You can decide where your mileage is on that.
1. You’re A Horcrux, And That’s the Real Reason You Have to Die
Look, there is no kind way for Albus Dumbledore to tell an eleven-year-old child that he is eventually going to have to sacrifice himself for the greater good, to say nothing of explaining that part of a dark wizard’s soul resides in his person… but there is no reason that he couldn’t have clued Harry in on this issue a little bit earlier. Sure, the prophecy gets revealed at the end of Harry’s fifth year, but that doesn’t get into the horcrux aspect of his existence, which is kind of the most important part? At the point at which he’s training Harry in earnest to walk to his death, there should be an understanding that his death is a bit more complicated than Trelawney’s prediction suggested. Of course, revealing that goes against how we’re told these stories are supposed to work; we’re supposed to believe that the hero can only accept their fate once they’ve achieved a true understanding and appreciation for all that could go wrong if they walk away from destiny. But refusing to give the kid time means he really just walks into it blindly, on his gut instincts. He doesn’t get the chance to process those emotions. It’s kind of reflective of the love his mother protected him with, unthinkingly, when she died at the hands of Voldemort. That’s some poetic writing, for sure. Not very ethical, though.
Were all the secrets Albus kept from Harry the real smoking gun that ensured Voldemort’s defeat? It’s possible, certainly, but it’s still tantamount to press-ganging kids into the army. (Which is kinda what the books are about, to be fair.) Your drill sergeant only tells you what you need to know, but that’s a terrifying stance for an educator to take regarding the children at the school that he’s running. If you’re going to do that, maybe stop pretending that these kids are getting a normal childhood.
2. Professor Snape Loved Your Mom
So many problems over the course of Harry’s time at school occur because there is one teacher at Hogwarts who is permitted to outright abuse the students without any explanation whatsoever. It’s hard to say what’s worse about the Snape situation at Hogwarts—the fact that Dumbledore won’t give Harry a more concrete reason to trust the man besides “I’m telling you, he’s an okay dude,” or the fact that he doesn’t explain why Snape has it out for Harry in particular. Refusing to be honest on that front leaves Harry baffled for his first couple years at school, then makes Harry assume that it’s just because his dad was a big jerk to the guy. Which is still not a good reason for a teacher to abuse a student, fyi. It’s called professionalism, Severus.
But the real truth is that Snape hates Harry most of all because he loved Harry’s mom, Lily. And that’s… creepy as heck. And still not a good reason for a teacher to abuse a student. (That’s because there are no good reasons to abuse a student, in case anyone was unclear on that.) If Harry has to continually suffer through that, the least Dumbledore could do is give him an explanation for it. Granted, the better choice might have been to call the Potion’s Master up to his office and say “Hey Severus, if you don’t stop treating these kids like garbage, I’ll tell everyone that you had a crush on Harry’s mom,” but… you know, baby steps.
3. I Was Pals With the Biggest Wizard Fascist Alive Before Voldemort Even Showed Up
Grindelwald is clearly a sore spot for Albus, but that’s no excuse for keeping Harry in the dark about his attachment to one of the worst wizards of the modern era. While all the nastiness that went down with old Gellert deals with some very personal information that the headmaster might just as soon keep private, refusing to clue Harry in on that deeply dysfunctional and brief friendship is ultimately a selfish choice that damages Harry’s faith in him, and could have easily undermined his whole cause. Knowing that Albus Dumbledore was not a perfect guy might have crushed Harry for a little while, but knowing that his beloved mentor trusted him enough to tell him some pretty awful secrets could have kept everything on track better than overhearing some nastiness at a wedding and then reading a trashy tabloid biography.
He didn’t even have to tell Harry the whole story. Just “hey, I get that you’re having a hard time keeping Voldemort out of your head. Evil wiggles in, and I should know—I was BFF with a really bad dude once upon a time, and got obsessed with finding the Deathly Hallows. What are those, you ask? Don’t worry, I left Hermione a book that she’ll probably get the chance to read in another year or so.” Oh, and while we’re on the topic of Albus’s impending death, here’s another thing he might have wanted to tell the kid—
4. Draco Has Been Ordered to Kill Me, Don’t Worry, I Have A Plan
Okay, fine, if Dumbledore tells Harry that Snape is going to have to kill him later in Draco’s stead, that’s not going to work out well. Distracting the kid with his mentor’s own impending death could have very easily derailed their training, and made the entire sixth year a bust. You know what also doesn’t help? STALKING A FELLOW CLASSMATE FOR A YEAR AND THEN NEARLY BLEEDING HIM OUT IN A BATHROOM USING A SPELL YOU’VE NEVER CAST BEFORE.
Harry’s suspicion of Draco is a huge time suck and causes a myriad of problems in what turns out to be his final year at Hogwarts. But the real problem is Dumbledore continually insisting to Harry that Draco is totally fine and nothing that he’s doing should bug Harry all that much… because Draco is acting really suspicious all year. So telling the most curious mystery-solving kid at your school (who also happens to hate this specific student) that nothing is wrong? When said kid’s dad is currently in wizard prison for hanging out with some extremely nasty people? There had to be a better way to handle this. Maybe even a way to play up Harry’s sympathies or at least hint that there was a master plan going down that he needed to steer clear of.
Oh, and here’s an extra one that has nothing to do with human decency. It just would have been nice:
5. I’m Gay!
This one is really just a personal suggestion, seeing as it’s kinda crap that there are no visible queer characters in the Harry Potter books. There aren’t any solid hints that Albus Dumbledore is gay in all seven tomes, but Rowling has confirmed it regardless. There’s a load of subtext, for sure—his adoration of Grindelwald seems a tad fervent and obsessive in a distinctly not-friendly way—but nothing by way of him ever saying so.
And it would have been such an easy thing to slip into casual conversation, too!
“The password is ‘sherbet lemon’ which is coincidentally the name of my favorite gay bar.”
“Sorry, Harry, there are no lessons this evening as I have an unexpected hot date with the fellow working the register at Honeydukes.”
“Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! I fancy blokes!”
Yeah. That would have been awesome.
The article was originally published in August 2017.
Emmet Asher-Perrin is happy that Albus enjoys his knitting patterns, though. You can bug her on Twitter and Tumblr, and read more of her work here and elsewhere.
I still say #2,3, and 5 are either none of Harry’s business or not Dumbledore’s secret to tell. D had no reason to believe his past was relevant to Harry’s present and discussing his private life with a student was certainly inappropriate. As was discussing a teacher’s emotional past. And would knowing any of these things actually helped Harry? Well maybe it would have been better if he hadn’t been blindsided by Dumbledore’s past with Grindelwald but once again D didn’t know all that was going to be dragged up, and maybe more importantly it is an extremely painful and traumatic period of his life that he doesn’t want to talk about.
I think the main thing that Dumbledore should have told Harry was that Leia was his sister.
No, wait. Getting my cryptic wizards and tousled-haired chosen ones all mixed together again.
@1 I disagree with you on point two. It kind of was Harry’s business. Snape made it Harry’s business by constantly crapping on him over the years.
I don’t think explaining would have helped the situation. Snape wanted my Mom? Ick! Would probably have been Harry’s response. Anyway it wasn’t Dumbledore’s secret to tell.
I don’t agree with #1. Being told something that would crush a person regardless of age. I mean, would he even care about stuff anymore, knowing this was coming? Why try at school, or make friends or anything because going to croak some time soon. When that time is getting close, then yeah, maybe so, but geeze, several years off? NO.
#2, that’s not really something to spill unless directly asked “Why is Snape such a dick to me?” People can be pretty awful when handed ammo against a person they don’t like. Couple that with being young and it will create drama. Got to ask the question first if it’s really going to fix anything by that reveal.
#3 would’ve been useful, because the next best thing to learning from your mistakes is making sure others have a chance to learn something from it too.
#4 yeah, that would’ve helped, so long as Harry didn’t try to do something very stupidly heroic
#5 this one’s not so much a Tell Harry as just find a way for people of all sorts to exist openly in entertainment without being terrified conservatives will cause the product to tank. The retroactive stuff feels too much like trying to look good without actually making a real effort.
2, didn’t he also build Karn the Silver Golem, pave the Yellow Brick Road, and make the Statue of Liberty disappear?
Really, I fail to see why we need to know that Dumbledore is gay. Sexuality is a very small, if nonexistent part of the story; so why exactly do all positions on sexuality need to be represented if it’s not important to the story?
6. “You are Hagrid now.”
I wonder if Dumbledore has been celibate since Grindelwald? He distrusts himself with power, maybe he distrusts himself with romance too. If so that’s very sad.
Lol! That would have been perfect, but saying “Oh, Dumbledore’s gay though,” when any subtext is so far below the text that you’re in danger of breaching through the Earth’s mantle altogether? That’s a bit – well it’s aggravating. I’d rather Rowling hadn’t said it at all. Whilst representation is important (and as a gay man, I know how important it is), shoehorning things in is not an answer to the problem. But you write what you know: there’s also not the greatest range of racial representation in the books, yet commenting on how you did include one gay character totally fixes that problem…
As for why Snape ‘abuses’ the students and Harry in particular? It’s not long that his teaching style was fairly standard (clipping a kid across the back of the head with the blackboard rubber for being an idiot still happened when I was at school) and I felt he always came down hard on Harry because he knew Harry was not only capable of doing more, and better, but that he would need to. I think it’s also evident on a number of occasions that he doesn’t hate Harry at all, but cares deeply for the child of his lost love. But hey, that’s just my impression.
Note that Snape’s least favorite students, including Neville, did fine on potions in their OWLs.that says something about Snape’s teaching if not his emotional maturity.
I think he’s hopelessly conflicted over Harry, the son of his lost love and of his biggest enemy, but one thing is very clear; he wants Lily’s son to live and will do everything in his power to see the boy gos on living.
6. Do not eat spicy food and then take a piss, because that’s a feeling a guy ought never to have.
#12: I suspect Lupin or Black may have covered that! Lol!
You seem to be forgetting a crucial aspect of Harry being a horcrux. Voldemort has the ability to see into his mind. Therefore anything Dumbledore tells him could vary easily be discovered by the dark lord. So things like exactly how Voldemort can be destroyed or blowing Snape’s cover might be, you know, a bad idea to tell Harry.
Ideally, Dumbledore would not have to tell Harry just about anything until absolutely necessary, but the curse from the ring put him into a time crunch.
Also, putting aside the fact that being gay and disclosing that information to anyone is an incredibly personal decision that should not be forced by anyone, why in the hell is it something that a school teacher should tell to one of their students?
My feeling exactly, LSUJedi. Dumbledore’s private life is so not Harry’s business!
@@@@@14 I
agree that a teacher ought not to be discussing their sex life with a student, but it would have been nice if Rowling had found a way to tell the audience as part of the narrative.
@@@@@ 10. Yeah, Snape’s teaching methods were not all that much worse than Mister Bronson’s in the British Young Adult Soap Opera “Grange Hill” during the 1980s, just with magic. Snape is an asshole teacher, but in the 1990s when Rowling started writing, his brand of assholery was only a decade out of date. Take him back to the 1950s (the heyday of the boarding school genre that Rowling is writing in) and he barely only a little worse than average. Snape only seems like such an extreme dick to us because (a) Alan Rickman is a goddamn brilliant actor, (b) we’re given him from Harry’s POV with all the inherent in-character value judgements therein; but mainly (c) times really have moved on so much so quickly.
Regarding #1, in the early years, it may not have been necessary. If Dumbledore could have destroyed the other horcruxes, and no one had tried to revive Voldemort, the “Harry is a Horcrux” problem would have resolved itself when Harry eventually died of old age.
But Dumbledore doesn’t seem to have been too focused on destroying Horcruxes until the last few years of the series. Otherwise, he could surely have destroyed some before Harry even came to school, or even before Voldemort was originally defeated – any plan for attacking Voldemort during the height of his first power would have required destroying horcruxes.
And Dumbledore should have told Harry how to destroy a Horcrux, period, at the very latest before the two of them left for the cave. But Dumbledore’s “tutoring” of Harry seemed to be more about manipulating Harry into gathering information than in practical instruction on what needed to be done.
Re #2, Snape should never have been a teacher, period. He had no talent or desire to teach. If Dumbledore needed to control him, setting him to updating the school’s textbooks would have been a task both appropriate to Snape’s talents (as we see from the quality of his notes in the advanced potion book, he can write good instructions, even if he can’t teach) and much needed by the school (the potions book being used shouldn’t be a generation old and vastly improved by a student’s margin-notes.)