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Star Trek: Voyager Rewatch: “Bride of Chaotica!”

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Star Trek: Voyager Rewatch: “Bride of Chaotica!”

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Star Trek: Voyager Rewatch: “Bride of Chaotica!”

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Published on February 25, 2021

Screenshot: CBS
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Star Trek: Voyager "Bride of Chaotica!"
Screenshot: CBS

“Bride of Chaotica!”
Written by Bryan Fuller & Michael Taylor
Directed by Allan Kroeker
Season 5, Episode 12
Production episode 207
Original air date: January 27, 1999
Stardate: unknown

Captain’s log. Paris and Kim are playing Captain Proton on the holodeck, starting up a new chapter called “Bride of Chaotica!” They have to rescue Constance Goodheart from Doctor Chaotica’s clutches. However, there’s a subspace distortion in the program.

The holodeck isn’t responding to voice commands or to hardly any other commands, but Paris is able to access the transporter and beam himself and Kim off the holodeck.

Voyager has come to a complete stop. They’re in a region where the barrier between space and subspace is frayed—Torres calls is a “subspace sandbar.” Every attempt to power out of it fails, and several systems are offline, others—like the holodeck—they have no control over.

Remembering a time when they navigated through a proto-nebula when she served on the al-Batani, Janeway suggests trying to inch through with thrusters. Meanwhile, on the holodeck, where the Captain Proton program is still running, two photonic beings come through the subspace ruptures. They take on the form of two men in suits to adapt to the environment, and meet up with Chaotica. It goes badly, and Chaotica has his henchman Loznak shoot the aliens. One is killed while the other escapes.

Three days pass for no good reason that the script can bother to provide. (It really shouldn’t take three days to shut down the warp drive.) Several systems are offline, including most of the lavatories and sonic showers. Paris’s attempt to inch through the sandbar works at first, but not for long. Then Tuvok detects weapons fire on the holodeck.

Tuvok and Paris go to the holodeck to investigate. They find a lot of dead bodies—including that of Constance. This raises red flags for Paris: it’s a 1930s Hollywood production, the good guys never died. They find Satan’s Robot (“Naturally,” Tuvok says dryly) and repair him. He says aliens from the Fifth Dimension have arrived, which they soon realize is how the Captain Proton characters are interpreting the subspace distortions.

The photonic alien approaches Tuvok, Paris, and Satan’s Robot. The alien doesn’t understand the notion of chemical, carbon-based life-forms—to him, all life is photonic, and he assumes that Tuvok and Paris aren’t real.

Star Trek: Voyager "Bride of Chaotica!"
Screenshot: CBS

They brief Janeway. They can’t just shut down the holodeck while they’re stuck in the sandbar, but maybe they can play it out. Paris suggests helping the aliens defeat Chaotica. They’d need someone on the inside to lower the lightning shield so Proton’s destructo-beam can destroy Chaotica’s death ray. The plot of the chapter they were doing involved Chaotica finally consummating his desired partnership with Queen Arachnia, so Paris suggests that Janeway play the role of Arachnia, get him to lower the lightning shield, and the day will be saved.

Janeway is reluctant at first, but finally goes along with it. In addition, Seven suggests the EMH, who is also a photonic life form, talk to the aliens. Torres adjusts the mobile emitter so that the EMH will look like the President of Earth. He negotiates with the aliens, getting them to agree to an alliance.

As Arachnia, Janeway pretends to agree to marry Chaotica, and asks that the wedding be broadcast to her troops, as it will help morale. Chaotica soon realizes that she is going to betray him, and secures her. However, she uses her bottle of pheromones to make Lonzak her love slave, and he frees her. She is able to bring down the lightning shield, Paris fires the destructo-beam, the death ray is destroyed, and all is well. The aliens return to their home dimension, Voyager is freed from the sandbar, and continues on its way home.

Can’t we just reverse the polarity? Photonic beings don’t register as life signs on the sensors constructed by carbon-based beings, leading those carbon-based beings to not think of photonic beings as real. However, the reverse holds true as well: photonic beings don’t pick up carbon-based life on their scanners, don’t really understand the notion of carbon-based beings, and think they’re simulations.

Star Trek: Voyager "Bride of Chaotica!"
Screenshot: CBS

There’s coffee in that nebula! While Janeway cosplaying as Arachnia (deservedly) gets most of the attention, note must be made of her epic conversation with Neelix that starts with her very fervent demand for coffee and her equally fervent demand that nobody speak to her until she’s drunk some of it.

Mr. Vulcan. Tuvok spends pretty much the entire episode snarking off the Captain Proton program, from sardonically lamenting Voyager’s lack of a death ray to wondering what the hell a resister is to his exasperated rejoinder to Paris when the latter reads the telegram from Earth:

“‘Intercepted communications between Doctor Chaotica and Arachnia. Stop. Chaotica at war with aliens from Fifth Dimension. Stop. Must strike now to disable Death Ray.'”

“Stop! Please summarize the message.”

Half and half. Torres is the one who coins the phrase “subspace sandbar,” and she also has the task of adjusting the EMH’s program so he blends into the Captain Proton scenario.

Forever an ensign. Kim at various points complains about the inaccuracy of the “previously on” segments before each chapter, as well as the repetitive sets.

Star Trek: Voyager "Bride of Chaotica!"
Screenshot: CBS

Everybody comes to Neelix’s. Neelix has one of the vanishingly few mentions of bathrooms on Star Trek, as he has the lucky duty of informing Janeway that the toilets and showers are mostly on the fritz. Janeway charges him with coming up with a pooping schedule.

Please state the nature of the medical emergency. The EMH relishes the role of playing the President of Earth, probably because it gives him the chance to make some really terrible jokes, the most groanworthy being his comment that his performance was unimpeachable.

Resistance is futile. Seven’s commentary on the scenario is more pointed even than Tuvok’s: “It seems your infantile scenario now poses a security risk.” Having said that, she shows her burgeoning sense of humor by encouraging Janeway to take the role of Arachnia thusly: “Think of it as Starfleet’s first encounter with Planet X.”

What happens on the holodeck stays on the holodeck. The photonic aliens from the Fifth Dimension subspace think that Planet X the holodeck is real and that the stuff outside the holodeck is some kind of weird fake simulation.

Do it.

“The destructo-beam on my rocket ship can disable the death ray, but only if someone gets inside the Fortress of Doom and can shut down the lightning shield.”

–Paris, who really did say all that with a straight face.

Star Trek: Voyager "Bride of Chaotica!"
Screenshot: CBS

Welcome aboard: Martin Rayner returns as Chaotica from “Night.” He’ll return to the role (as promised at the episode’s end) in “Shattered.” Also back from “Night” is the uncredited Kirsten Turner as Constance Goodheart.

Nicholas Worth plays Loznak; he previously was on two DS9 episodes as a Lissepian (“Progress“) and a Finnean (“A Simple Investigation“). Jim Kretsalude plays the photonic alien, while regular extra Tarik Ergin—who mostly plays Ayala, a former Maquis crew member—gets to be the robot, and he totally steals the episode.

Trivial matters: Besides just the general desire to do an episode involving the Captain Proton holodeck scenario, this episode was specifically prompted by a fire on the bridge set that necessitated doing an episode with very few scenes on the bridge—and those scenes were shot weeks after the rest of the episode.

Kim comments that the planet they’re on looks familiar, and Paris notes that sets are expensive, and so they reused them in the movie serials. This is a nifty bit of meta-commentary, since they were using the “planet hell” set that TNG, DS9, and Voyager had recycled many many times since 1987…

Janeway was established as having served on the U.S.S. al-Batani (under Paris’ Dad, no less) in “Caretaker.”

This is only the second time a Trek episode has had an exclamation point as part of the title, the previous one being “Operation—Annihilate!” on the original series. However, several novels used that punctuation as part of their title: Spock Must Die! by James Blish, Spock, Messiah! by Theodore R. Cogswell & Charles A. Spano Jr., Vulcan! by Kathleen Sky, Dreadnought! and Battlestations! both by Diane Carey, Distress Call! by William Rotsler, and the Invasion! crossover.

Screenshot: CBS

Set a course for home. “Fool! You will pay for your incompetence!” I often say that the warp factor rating is the least important part of any rewatch entry, and I stand by that, as the ratings are pretty arbitrary and don’t really take nuance into account.

And never more so than here (ironically in an episode pretty much devoid of nuance), because I am giving this episode a 10. Is it truly one of the greatest Star Trek episodes ever produced? Probably not. But I don’t care because this is one of my absolute favorite episodes of Star Trek ever produced. I laughed throughout, pausing occasionally to note the cleverness of the script, and ended the episode suffused with joy.

It helps that I have massive affection for the ridiculous movie serials of the 1930s and 1940s that Captain Proton is lampooning. The cheesy sets, the hilarious nomenclature, the over-the-top acting—I adore that stuff, and the Proton holodeck program in general and this episode in particular are magnificent tributes to it. The best part is the music—David Bell absolutely nails the incidental music of the period.

On top of that, I like that this holodeck-gone-mad story isn’t actually about the holodeck failing or endangering the crew. In fact, the holodeck doesn’t fail at all—okay, it can’t be turned off, but that’s just one of a myriad of malfunctions Voyager is suffering. The only reason there’s an issue is that they come across photonic aliens.

Another reason why I adore this episode is the entire notion of aliens who don’t believe that our main characters are real because they’re a type of life form they’ve never encountered before. It’s a nice reversal of, for example, “The Devil in the Dark” on the original series, where our heroes have to rejigger their notion of what life is when they encounter the Horta.

Plus, of course, the actors are all having a great time, whether it’s Robert Duncan McNeill trying to get everyone to think like they’re in a movie serial, and also growing frustrated with his own program, or Tim Russ’s ongoing disdainful commentary on the entire proceeding, or Jeri Ryan’s more direct disdain, or Robert Picardo’s diving into the part with both feet, or the magnificently over-the-top performances by Martin Rayner, Nicholas Worth, and Tarik Ergin as the holodeck characters. Ergin deserves special credit for pretty much stealing the episode with his flailing robot, a delightful sendup of robots through old-timey sci-fi screen presentations from Flash Gordon to Forbidden Planet to Lost in Space.

Best of all, though, is Kate Mulgrew’s stupendous performance as Janeway pretending to be Arachnia. Mulgrew absolutely throws herself into the part, and you can tell that both Mulgrew the actor and Janeway the character are having a blast.

This is simply an enjoyable episode of Star Trek, so much so that I don’t even care that the three-day jump makes nothing like sense or that the resolution is kind of weak. If nothing else, it’s in keeping with the movie serials being homaged/parodied, given that they were full of such things as well.

Warp factor rating: 10 

Keith R.A. DeCandido did a panel on the endurance of Star Trek with fellow Trek word-slingers David Mack and Derek Tyler Attico for the Virtual Farpoint Convention last weekend. That panel has been archived on YouTube.

About the Author

Keith R.A. DeCandido

Author

Keith R.A. DeCandido has been writing about popular culture for this site since 2011, primarily but not exclusively writing about Star Trek and screen adaptations of superhero comics. He is also the author of more than 60 novels, more than 100 short stories, and more than 70 comic books, both in a variety of licensed universes from Alien to Zorro, as well as in worlds of his own creation, most notably the new Supernatural Crimes Unit series debuting in the fall of 2025. Read his blog, or follow him all over the Internet: Facebook, The Site Formerly Known As Twitter, Instagram, Threads, Blue Sky, YouTube, Patreon, and TikTok.
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Mr. Magic
4 years ago

Yeah, as often as Trek can be serious or thought-provoking, sometimes you’ve just got to have fun (be it this, “A Piece of the Action”, “The Royale”, “Our Man Bashir”, etc.)

Another of my favorites from Season Five, too.

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4 years ago

Ah, the episode where Janeway takes a break from forcing her crew to undergo medical experiments against their will, subjecting them to what psychologists recognize as torture, and unperson-ing them, in order to pretend to be evil!

Jokes aside, I love this one. Mulgrew absolutely nails the vampy, pulpy villainy to the tee- her body language and poses in particular are just excellent. She easily could have played up Janeway’s reluctance to get into the part, but I like that she just went for it whole-heartedly, and it was glorious. I know I’ve said I wish Trek had more recent pop culture, but I have a soft spot for the Captain Proton program and find it extremely charming, for all the reasons KRAD mentioned. If your SF show is going to have their pop culture consist mostly of throw-backs, I much prefer throwbacks to other science fiction than weird Gothic novels. 

Kudos to the actors who play the Proton holograms, too, because they really act it to perfection. Kirsten Turner as Constance Goodheart might give Walter Koenig’s Chevov a run for his money in the “perfect TV scream” department. And I never realized that was Ayala in the robot suit! A man of many talents. 

I also love the idea of the photonic life forms assuming that the main characters are the ones that aren’t real, and I always get a chuckle out of the meta-joke of that statement. I also appreciate that they didn’t give into the temptation to use every holodeck cliché out there- I am always pleasantly surprised when I re-watch this one and remember that the safeties are actually working.

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kayom
4 years ago

I could have watched an entire season of this, I really could. I love this sort of campy space adventure stuff. This was an episode of VOY that was a joy to watch. I loved it so much.

Forever an ensign. Kim at various points complains about the inaccuracy of the “previously on” segments before each chapter, as well as the repetitive sets.

And thus Harry Kim predicted Discovery two decades ago. If only Discovery had had this episode’s camp charm and love for the genre.

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ad
4 years ago

Why does Tuvok not think that Voyagers phasers count as Death Rays?

They are rays, and they can kill people. What more do you want?

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4 years ago

I wonder how black and white simulations on the holodeck work.  Probably it projects a black and white holographic disguise over any colored object brought in from outside.  (Which could, I suppose, be a third option to donning holographic clothing/bringing your own replicated costumes to the holodeck with you- just have the program project appropriate garb).

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4 years ago

I loved Mulgrew rolling her eyes at the dialogue whenever Chaotica wasn’t looking. Playing Arachnia looked like a lot more fun than Captain Proton, too.  I still don’t get what do Tom and Harry see in this program, especially since Tom seems to know exactly what’s about to happen.

Kudos to the prop department for hiding all the teeth marks on the scenery.

While the time skip makes it sound like it takes three days to shut down the warp core, I did like that they gave the holodeck conflict time to happen. Another black mark is that they completely disregard the fact that dozens of people were killed  I wonder where this sits in terms of an episode’s body count, especially disregarding Borg or Dominion War episodes

 

ChristopherLBennett
4 years ago

The only thing I can think of to add is that David Bell’s Captain Proton music stands out to me because it’s possibly the only time that his Trek music is in 4/4 time instead of 3/4 time.

My father interviewed David Bell once, when he (my father) was still working in public radio. It was before Bell’s time on Trek, though I knew him from his work on Murder, She Wrote (and Blacke’s Magic, a more obscure 1986 mystery series starring Hal Linden as a murder-solving magician and Harry Morgan as his con-artist father). I don’t remember any specifics about the interview, though.

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Rick
4 years ago

I can accept a lot of contrivances in fiction… but I refuse to believe that the absurd way we size women’s clothing will survive until the 24th century, so Janeway saying she’s a size 4 is non-canon to me or, at best, represents a standardized system that has nothing to do with our current madness.  Other than that, everything about this airtight episode checks out.   

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Mr. Magic
4 years ago

The best part is the music—David Bell absolutely nails the incidental music of the period.

Yeah, I’ve always thought Bell was the strongest of the post-Ron Jones composers of the Berman era.

I bought that VOY collection La La Land Records printed a few years back if, for nothing else, Bell’s complete score for “Dark Frontier”.

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Sabrina
4 years ago

I always wonder how many takes it took to do the briefing scene without the actors breaking into laughter over the dialogue.

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4 years ago

Ah, we finally come to it.  My favorite episode of Voyager.  Hands down. It’s just so very dopey and adorable. 

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4 years ago

Sigh. I know I’m wrong, but I just can’t help it, I HATE all the Captain Proton stuff, I just think it’s stupid.

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Eduardo Jencarelli
4 years ago

In the TNG Companion, it’s mentioned that in Tracy Tormé’s original Big Goodbye draft the Dixon Hill was supposed to play as a straight black-and-white scenario the minute Picard and Data stepped inside the holodeck, and then Rick Berman nixed the whole idea, citing that the holodeck couldn’t possibly alter the real crew’s own world. Which is why I wonder what convinced him to change his mind, 11 years later. With the Chaotica program, Brannon Braga and the staff finally get to do what Tormé was never allowed, all the while cranking up the homage factor up to 11.

Bride of Chaotica is a fun adventurous episode. Not quite perfect, because as was already said, the ending lacks punch. Nevertheless, it otherwise plays up the old movie serial conventions with flavor and style. It uses most of the crew to great effect. It has two superb skeptics pointing out the flaws. And it’s quite the showcase for Kate Mulgrew, who owns Janeway’s impersonation of Arachnia.

I didn’t know about the fire. This is a very good example of salvaging a production at the last minute. It’s good that they’d already had Chaotica as an ongoing program before this. Everything comes together nicely with the cast, and also Kroeker’s always reliable hand behind the camera. Fuller and Taylor get to stretch and indulge in nostalgia throughout the script. And they manage to craft a classic Trek story in there with the photonic aliens and their mutual inability to grasp beyond their reality, same as our characters. A delightful episode, but one I’d say could have gone even more over the top with the references.

garreth
4 years ago

Hmm, I dunno.  There’s high praise here for this episode, one which I’ve never seen.  It’s just I have a strong aversion to holodeck-based episodes (not involving Sherlock Holmes) and I have no particular love for old movie serials.  But I do like the idea of Janeway/Mulgrew vamping it up with gusto so maybe I’ll give it a chance.

John C. Bunnell
4 years ago

It’s somehow perfectly consistent with the tone of this episode that KRAD gets to be both old and twelve in the same comment-stream.

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Rick
4 years ago

@15/KRAD: This is also the first time in a decade of doing rewatches on this site that I’ve used the phrase “pooping schedule.”

—Keith R.A. DeCandido, who’s twelve

On the pooping schedule: I mean, how am I supposed to resist the pooping schedule? But this actually isn’t as bad as it sounds, at least if we assume humans are about average in the poop department, although note that Neelix hints that the issue is Bolian usage.

150 people/4 working lavatories. Usage is going to be evenlyish distributed, because a third of the crew is asleep at a time, but just for the sake of simplicity let’s consider one 24 hour period where everybody needs 15 minutes of pooping. Round up and call it 38 people per working lavatory, so in the 24 hour period only 570 minutes are accounted for out of a 1440 minute day. Even a relatively leisurely 30 minutes of pooping per person would still leave plenty of spare, uh, capacity. Notably, a Fast Attack Submarine has about Voyager’s crew size (albeit with no aliens and fewer women) and about the same number of functional toilets at any given time with no serious issue.

From this we are forced to conclude that the Bolians must, by human standards, poop A LOT, otherwise this should be a pretty minor nuisance without that much active management. Thank you for coming to my TEDX talk.

garreth
4 years ago

@18/krad: Okay, I will next time I sign up for Paramount+!

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4 years ago

The reason so many people love or hate this episode is the same as why some of us love LEGENDS OF TOMORROW and others run screaming.  If a giant blue plush toy kills the season’s Big Bad and you don’t have a manical grin of happiness, this is the wrong show for you. Shows like this are about the playful joy of the imagination and a paen to silliness.

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Austin
4 years ago

@21 – Or Amazon Prime, which is where I’m streaming it.

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Mr. Magic
4 years ago

The reason so many people love or hate this episode is the same as why some of us love LEGENDS OF TOMORROW and others run screaming.  If a giant blue plush toy kills the season’s Big Bad and you don’t have a manical grin of happiness, this is the wrong show for you. Shows like this are about the playful joy of the imagination and a paen to silliness.

Yeah.

First time I watched that Season Finale, I actually almost passed out from laughing so hard. Still one of my favorite Arrowverse experiences, LOL.

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Mr. Magic
4 years ago

In the TNG Companion, it’s mentioned that in Tracy Tormé’s original Big Goodbye draft the Dixon Hill was supposed to play as a straight black-and-white scenario the minute Picard and Data stepped inside the holodeck, and then Rick Berman nixed the whole idea, citing that the holodeck couldn’t possibly alter the real crew’s own world. Which is why I wonder what convinced him to change his mind, 11 years later. With the Chaotica program, Brannon Braga and the staff finally get to do what Tormé was never allowed, all the while cranking up the homage factor up to 11.

I remember Ronald Moore saying an interview a while back that Berman excelled at issuing arbitrary, nonsensical rules and dictums and then completely forgetting about them years later.

So that could be what happened here. It could also be that Berman was distracted with the then-upcoming “Dark Frontier”, the aftermath of Insurrection’s release, or the march towards DS9’s finale.

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4 years ago

I should watch Legends. 

I suppose it’s uncharitable to say there’s something very Star Trek about leaving all the questions regard the photonic life forms from an alternate dimension on the table. Though I did like how the aliens clearly had the same ethos of Starfleet. It’s not just Voyager’s crew who are confronted with the absurdity of Chaotica 

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4 years ago

@26  LEGENDS didn’t find its voice until Season 3.  Season 1 had a dreary bad guy and some of the characters on the time ship were mind-numbingly bad.  It had a dark superhero vibe. Season 2 had better bad guys, and the tone and action were moving away from dark superhero to adventure.  Season 3 slowly moved into some silliness which throttled up to the joyously bonkers season finale.  The quality hasn’t always been great, but I’ve never stopped enjoying it.  

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foamy
4 years ago

, 15: You should play some Oxygen Not Included if you want cause to use that particular phrase with greater frequency.

garreth
4 years ago

@21/krad: True, I’m aware various Trek series are on Netflix but Paramount+ is cheaper ($4.99 versus $8.99).  However, I may spring for Netflix instead since there’s other programming on that platform I’d like to see.

@23/austin: It looks like Amazon Prime is the most expensive platform at $12.99 and there’s less content on there I’m interested in so I think I’ll pass on it for now.

 

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Charles Oppenheimer
4 years ago

@8 I remember “Blacke’s Magic”. Wasn’t it Hal Linden’s first role after “Barney Miller” a forgotten classic sitcom?

ChristopherLBennett
4 years ago

@31/Charles Oppenheimer: Well, I’d hardly call Barney Miller forgotten. As for Blacke’s Magic, it was Linden’s first series lead role after Miller, but he’d appeared in several TV movies in the intervening four years. His first post-Miller role was in a TV disaster movie called Starflight: The Plane that Couldn’t Land with Lee Majors, Lauren Hutton, and Ray Milland.

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Tom W
4 years ago

A very good and well done episode. Seems the writers did their research on Galactic evils from the 1940’s – Ming the Merciless. Loved the ending as the “The End” pops up on the screen. Only to be followed by a question mark and Chaotica’s laughter. The so-called death of Ming was not the end of him as well.

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Karen
4 years ago

I absolutely love this episode.  It’s one of my go to episodes when I want something fun and light-hearted.  

The whole scene in the briefing room where Paris is explaining what needs to be done is hilarious.  Robert Beltran is barely holding it together.  I’m certain that there were a few takes where he couldn’t hold back his laughter!  Not only that, it was a really long scene, especially by Star Trek standards, so it had to be torture to hold a straight face!  

But by far, my favorite scene is where Janeway gets the specs for her ‘Arachnia’ costume.  The look on her face as she realizes what she’s in for is hilarious and Paris’ line “I’ll see you at the Fortress of Doom. And remember, you’re the Queen!”

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4 years ago

9. Rick

I can accept a lot of contrivances in fiction… but I refuse to believe that the absurd way we size women’s clothing will survive until the 24th century, so Janeway saying she’s a size 4 is non-canon to me or, at best, represents a standardized system that has nothing to do with our current madness.  Other than that, everything about this airtight episode checks out.   

I guess I’m not sure what your issue is. Any size system that isn’t measurements is arbitrary and could seem to be absurd. Small, Medium, Large, X-Large? By what measure? 0-2-4-6 etc, which are misses sizes as opposed to 1-3-5-7 which are Jr. sizes.

I can certainly see using just measurements, but even that is complicated. Pants need a minimum of waist and inseam; but people with the same waist/inseam can still vary on hip size and outseam. Men’s shirts are often sized by neck measurement and arm length (measured from the center of the back, however, not from the shoulder). But chest and belly size, as well as torso length. Like everything, even something as seemingly trivial as clothing sizes, its complicated.

And just for the record, I LOVE Bride of Chaotica (and the Captain Proton eps in general.) Read the Captain Proton: Defender of the Earth. Delightful!

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Jeff S
4 years ago

One of my favorites too. “Arachnia, Queen of the Spider People” is just a fun thing to say.

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4 years ago

I just wish we’d gotten a Captain Proton video game. Guess the right time has passed on that one. But for that matter, a new Flash Gordon or Buck Rogers game would be a lot of fun.

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4 years ago

The five classic Star Trek series are also on Hulu. 😃

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4 years ago

“Oh, don’t worry, I wouldn’t kill my bride. Not until after our wedding night.”

I remember, for months before I watched this, reading reviews that bigged it up as an absolute classic. Then I watched it with an anti-climatic feeling of “Well, it’s not a bad episode exactly, but it’s nothing special.” So I tried to keep an open mind watching it this time and found myself quite enjoying the opening scenes, with Paris having a ball, Kim torn between enjoying himself and being a bit bemused by the nonsensical tropes of the genre, and Chaotica being deliciously over the top and rolling his Rs. And Paris and Kim wearily shooting Lonzak halfway through a villain’s monologue. But then…I’m not sure if the joke ran thin or the episode just forgot to include a joke. I didn’t realise just how long the action shifted away from the holodeck for. Paris and Tuvok’s return visit is quite fun, with the comedy robot and Tuvok in wry sarcasm mode, but the stuff with the aliens is unfortunately a bit dull.

And then, to my surprise because I was expecting this to be the bit where it picked up, it all felt apart for me with one of the most bonkers portrayals of Janeway yet. It starts with her smirking at the news innocent aliens are being slaughtered (she even seems to seriously consider just letting Chaotica kill them all so then Voyager will be all right) and then, funny as it is, her agreeing to dress up as Arachnia makes no sense other than she’s the lead character and they want her there for the climax. (I watched those scenes thinking “Ohh boy, some people aren’t going to be happy at Paris acting like her boss again.” Looks like it’s okay if it happens in people’s favourite episode!) And then, after the amusing scene of her looking more and more bewildered at Paris’ descriptions of what she should expect…she just gives a note perfect and therefore not particularly interesting turn as Arachnia, when I was expecting some more self-awareness. Ditto Chaotica, who despite a few good moments (his laugh goes on just long enough to be funny without overdoing it), becomes a bit bland when we spend too much time with him. The Doctor is much better value, but then he always is, from his turn as the President of Earth through to his bewildered role as Paris and Kim’s stooge.(“Activate the Destructo-Beam!”/“The what?”/“Big button in the middle of that panel.”)

And I see that, 20+ years on, the majority still love it to pieces and I’m still the killjoy not seeing what everyone else is. Sorry.

Chaotica (along with Lonzak) will be back one last time in Season 7 (in an episode which I’m slowly realising is a bit of a “Bring some of the old favourites out for one last turn” installment…although, as someone pointed out last recap, not Kes). For some unexplained reason, the Doctor slaps on the mobile emitter and walks to the holodeck instead of just transferring his programme there. (The rewatch seems to imply the mobile emitter is necessary for his new appearance, which almost makes sense, but I’m sure we’ve seen him on the holodeck in different clothes in the past without it. “Scientific Method” springs to mind, as does “The Swarm”.) Paris gives Tuvok’s rank as lieutenant when introducing him: I like to think he’s decided to cope with his demotion by pretending everyone else has been demoted as well.

I had no idea that was Tarik Elgin in the robot suit either! He actually has a memorable cameo as Ayala as well, turning his noise up even more than usual at Neelix’s food. (“Look on the bright side: There’s only three meals a day.”) And I’m still working my way through my complete VHS collection and wondering when having an actual physical copy of episodes became so last century…

Sunspear
4 years ago

Concerning old SF serials, I’m reading a book on exoplanets in which one of the authors says he loved them as a child, featuring “Ming the Merciless, Emperor of Mongo, the villain in many Buck Rogers movies.”

Should I trust any other assertions they make?

ChristopherLBennett
4 years ago

@41/Sunspear: I can understand someone confusing their childhood memories of Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers, since after all, Buster Crabbe played both of them, and Flash was a knockoff of Buck to begin with. If it were the writer of a book about classic sword-and-planet comic strips or movie serials, then it would be fair to mistrust them, but if it’s science book, it’s an excusable mistake. Expertise in one field does not correlate to expertise in others.

If anything, the onus would be on the editor and copyeditors of the book to catch mistakes like that.

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4 years ago

@35 I kind of wonder why sizes are even a thing in a future with replicator technology, scanners, etc., especially on a ship like Voyager. It seems like the computer should just know Janeway’s measurements and be able to produce a garment that will fit her when she asks for one. To me it seems like the measurements we use for mass-produced clothing now would quickly become as irrelevant as they were back when people drafted their own patterns (or a tailor or dressmaker drafted them for them) and made their own clothes. Especially given that different species are probably going to have different typical proportions, it seems like it would just be easier to have the replicator adjust the pattern to each individuals unique measurements. 

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4 years ago

43. wildfyrewarning

I can certainly see that logic. However, I think individuals will still tend to think of themselves as having a size, however it is expressed then. Its just a shorthand. Pattern development as well is still likely to be a “mass-produce” and by that I mean a style will be developed independent of size (at least to an extant. Flattering looks still depend on size and build, though the exact parameters will likely change.) The look would then be adjusted for an individual.

But, that being said, I can certainly see your suggestion being practical as well. It does give us, the audience, though, an idea of the size.

 

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4 years ago

I’ve often called this one of Trek’s worst episodes ever, but in retrospect, I think I was wrong about that. There’s been some pretty crappy stuff done over the years, but the difference here is that the producers of this episode were TRYING to be awful in that they were TRYING to lampoon and pay homage to the 1950s sci-fi serials…and they pulled that off spectacularly well. In that sense, this IS one of Trek’s all-time best episodes. The only way having the captain bow to the absurd and say “fuck it–I’m going all-in zany to save my crew” would be any more brilliantly hilarious if it had been Picard doing it! The 10 is well-deserved!

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4 years ago

On the subject of a Captain Proton video game, there is a Captain Proton level on Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force. The game, a first person shooter, probably shouldn’t have worked as Star Trek but somehow did. I really rather liked it.

Also, sharing the love for this episode and kudos for krad going full warp 10!

ChristopherLBennett
4 years ago

@45/DonRudolphII: “…pay homage to the 1950s sci-fi serials…”

Well, 1930s-50s. The two main influences were the Flash Gordon serials from 1936-40 and the Rocket Man serials (which also inspired The Rocketeer) from 1949-53, particularly 1952’s Zombies of the Stratosphere with Leonard Nimoy in his first alien role. Satan’s Robot was inspired by a robot that debuted in the 1936 Undersea Kingdom and continued to appear in serials through 1953, including Zombies.

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ED
4 years ago

 Quite a lot of the time STAR TREK is earnest to the point of being moderately insufferable; sometimes it’s Serious Business indeed; sometimes STAR TREK gets a little glint in it’s eye and goes Whole Hog.

 Two guesses which version of STAR TREK is my particular favourite (for all that the other two registers have their High Points). After all, how often do we get a glimpse at what Golden Age Space Opera might have looked like with Katherine Hepburn hamming it up as Queen of Evil?

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SKO
4 years ago

Voyager was the first trek I watched during its original run. I caught re-runs of TNG/DS9/TOS, but when I first got into trek around 1998 it was just after DS9 had ended, but I was so excited every week for new Voyager. However I did not like any of the Captain Proton stuff, it seemed ridiculous. Now that I am older and have consumed a lot of the sci fi that they were parodying I see how incredibly funny an episode like this or DS9’s Little Green Men is. When I rewatched this a year or two ago I was in stitches the entire time. 

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politeruin
4 years ago

@21, 23, 38: For how much longer though? With everything moving to Paramount+ they may only be on there in the short term but I can’t find any definitive answer either way, just lots of speculation in comments of various articles.

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2021/02/paramount-will-carry-new-star-trek-series-strange-new-worlds-and-prodigy/

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Robert Carnegie
4 years ago

Is it “The Big Goodbye” where Captain Picard talks excitedly about how realistic it is in the (just updated?) holodeck?  Would he say that if it was monochrome in there?  Some people have limited colour vision but I don’t remember that being established for Picard…  except when he had Borg stuff, I guess.  Colour is irrelevant.

In TNG novel “Debtors’ Planet”, Picard has a meeting with a guest star who (the character) is familiar with historic San Francisco – in the private eye office in the holodeck.  It was supposed to put the guest at ease, but it doesn’t, just because it’s so “real”.  Including the cigarette lighter on the desk whose purpose mystifies Picard: a little fire-starting device?  Evidence from an arson case perhaps?

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Rick
4 years ago

@35/43/44: I was sort of kidding re dress sizes, because it’s a silly thing to latch onto in a madcap episode, but with a serious tinge. Much like Riker referring to an “acre” in Survivors, a “size 4” strikes me as an anachronism for the reasons stated– a sizing system is fine for mass produced goods, but nonsensical for a computer who knows who you are. But even if they’re still ordering things in size X, “I’m a size 4” is American/Canadian– that’s an 8 in the UK, a 34 in Germany, a 36 in France, and a 40 in Italy. So it just stands out as an Americanism sneaking into a 24th century context.

First Contact got this right– when Picard wants clothes, he just orders the computer to make them and doesn’t have to tell the computer what his size is, because it already knows that (or, worst case scenario, could just scan him). Although that probably goes too far in the other direction, in that he just orders “mid-twenty-first century civilian clothing,” and I’m kind of hard-pressed to believe civilians worldwide are all wearing the same thing.

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4 years ago

@47

I never played Elite Force. Thanks for the info, though. I’ll check it out.

@52

But color, or lack thereof, isn’t irrelevant if someone wants to replicate the look of film noir or an old serial.

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4 years ago

This is not just in my Top Five Voyager episodes, but my Top Five Episodes of Trek. I adore it to teeny tiny pieces. To this day, I giggle helplessly, even though I’ve watched it a squillion times. Great stuff.

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kayom
4 years ago

Well, one thing about Janeway saying she is a 4 at least means the military has moved beyond size one or size two.

Size one is too small, and size two is too large.

Starfleet must have doubled the clothing options. Who says the future isn’t looking better?

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Mr. Magic
4 years ago

On the subject of a Captain Proton video game, there is a Captain Proton level on Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force. The game, a first person shooter, probably shouldn’t have worked as Star Trek but somehow did. I really rather liked it.

Yeah, I loved the Elite Force games back in the day, too.

I really wish Armada II would get re-issued. That was a favorite of mine, too.

And the concept of the Hazard Team was also one that made complete sense in the context of VOY and would’ve worked on the show. With limited crew and the hazards of the DQ, you’d want something more specialized than a standard security team of redshirts similarly to the Delta Flyer replacing the shuttles).

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Loungeshep
4 years ago

THis might be my favorite “Everybody comes to Neelix’s” so far in this rewatch.

“Everybody comes to Neelix’s. Neelix has one of the vanishingly few mentions of bathrooms on Star Trek, as he has the lucky duty of informing Janeway that the toilets and showers are mostly on the fritz. Janeway charges him with coming up with a pooping schedule.”

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kayom
4 years ago

@57, Gravity getting you down?

 

I regret nothing.

John C. Bunnell
4 years ago

#51: I don’t see Paramount turning down money from competitors who want to pay them to make classic Trek more widely accessible; that’s all advertising for the new shows, and can only help drive subscribers to Paramount+.

ChristopherLBennett
4 years ago

@61/John C. Bunnell: True, but that’s contingent on the competitors wanting to pay to provide free advertising to a competing service. Part of the reason Netflix discontinued their Marvel shows was because they didn’t want to do that once Disney announced its intention to found a competing streaming service.

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4 years ago

This wasn’t the first time humans were not considered true life forms by a being that they encountered. In ST: TMP. V’ger did not consider carbon based units true life forms. It considered them an infestation. From V’ger’s point of view only machines were life forms. The Enterprise was a life form and it assumed the Creator was the same kind of life form.

Sunspear
4 years ago

Janeway class, Voyager-J, coming to STO:

Voyager-J

Some angles look cool:

Source: janeway-class-takes-flight

ryttu3k
4 years ago

This is 100% my favourite Star Trek episode.

“Let me get this straight: trans-dimensional aliens have mistaken your Captain Proton simulation for reality.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And now an an armed conflict has broken out between these aliens and Chaotica’s holographic army.”

“Yes, ma’am. His Army of Evil.”

McNeill deserves a goddamn medal for getting through that line with a straight face. Paris deserves a medal for getting through that with a straight face!

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Kate
4 years ago

A perfect episode. I just wish they could have slipped in a few seconds of Liszt’s Les Preludes.

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4 years ago

@65′ 🤣🤣🤣

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4 years ago

I think the best moment is when Paris reveals to Janeway the power of the Queen’s pheromones, and Mulgrew conveys *everything* that must be running through Janeway’s brain straight onto her face, and then Paris nonchalantly reveals they’re kept in a bottle, and Mulgrew again conveys the complexity just through her expression of Janeway simultaneously feeling relief that nothing of what she was imagining was even close to accurate combined with a clear feeling that of *course* that would be where they are in this nonsensical scenario…   

garreth
4 years ago

Okay, I finally watched this one and y’all were right, it was good.  I would sum it up as “very cute.” It’s obvious the cast, well, the ones that got to be on the holodeck anyway, we’re having a lot of fun playing dress up and that’s always fun for the audience to see.  Robert Duncan McNeill and Kate Mulgrew in particular looked like they were relishing their parts, Janeway as Arachnia, and Paris not so much as Captain Proton, but explaining with glee to Janeway how she should play her role.  My favorite scene was in the conference room where Paris has to explain what’s going on to Janeway and doing his patented “yes m’am” this time in a droll manner.  Good stuff!

DanteHopkins
4 years ago

Absolutely a favorite of mine. I just know Tim Russ, Robbie MacNiell, Jeri Ryan, Robert Beltran, and Kate Mulgrew had to cut soo many times to calm down laughing in the briefing room scene. Hell, I had to pause that scene because I was laughing so much. Goddamn it, Seven of Nine is damn near smirking! That says it all, right there.

Every time I watch this, I’m laughing my ass off, and having fun from start to finish. A well-deserved 10!

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4 years ago

In the U.K. in the school summer holidays in the 1980s they used to replay the old 1930s serials on a daily basis, the one I remember most clearly is King of the Rocket Men so naturally I just absolutely love this one,   note perfect performances all round… Tuvoks “a Shame we don’t have one” line made me pause the recording when I first taped this in 1999 I laughed so much.  A work of genius and a true Labour of Love for the team who produced this. A Classic.  

garreth
3 years ago

Robert Duncan McNeill revealed on the most recent episode of his Delta Flyers podcast (for the Voyager episode “Nemesis”), that he had proposed an idea to Alex Kurtzman’s people to turn the Captain Proton holodeck program as portrayed on Voyager into basically another Star Trek series! How cool is that!?!  Apparently, it’s an idea he had first mentioned at conventions but he must really be invested in the idea to have actually proposed it to the Secret Hideout production team.  And McNeill stated the idea could manifest in any manner of format, from live-action to animated, to a web serial.  Personally, I don’t think live-action is that feasible considering how much the actors have aged, so animated seems the best way to go.  I could easily see this being several Short Treks and not a full-fledged series.  McNeill essentially sees this as a way to get the cast all back together which is a sweet thought on his part.  Garrett Wang seems to be on board with the idea, and Tom Paris and Harry Kim are the main players in the Captain Proton holodeck program anyway so you could conceivably have the series green-lit with just their involvement alone, although also getting Kate Mulgrew to reprise Queen Arachnia would make it all the more better!  McNeill said his proposal is basically on the back burner so hopefully it does come to fruition at some point.  It’s seems like a no-brainer for both fan interest and a way to revive Short Treks.

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3 years ago

Delta Flyers just did their Bride of Chaotica episode, and yes it was as fun as it sounded. And straight faces were sometimes hard to maintain.

They also had some interesting notes about how to act a character that is role playing.

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2 years ago

This is a very cute episode. I wish Voyager had more like this. :)

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Russell H
2 years ago

@66 Was rewatching this last night on H&I Channel, and noticed that David Bell’s music included some quotes of Richard Wagner’s “hero” leitmotif from “Siegfried”–a nice homage to how 1930’s Hollywood music composers would  regularly “borrow” from classical composers.

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Kent
8 months ago

This episode is an absolute delight. There are so many wonderful meta moments. I don’t think anyone has remarked on the death of Captain Proton’s “secretary” and the idea that main characters aren’t supposed to die. Not only that, but 7’s sentiment that entertainment is a foolish human pursuit, slaps TV itself across the face.

Everything here is pitch perfect. The way Tom throws himself into the CP scenarios while Harry takes a half-laughing approach, is just marvelous subtly. And goth Janeway is my favorite Janeway.

I’m going to take this opportunity to defend the preoccupation with 20th-century earth pop culture on Trek. I have some bias, but it is a fascinating century, and I can see why it would be even in the 24th. It’s the era that gave birth to powered human flight and space flight. It gave us jazz and rock and roll as well as an explosion of media. We also saw an era where suddenly particular decades had become important and had their own identities. And while it was quite horrific in huge ways, life on 21st century earth was pretty bad in the Star Trek universe (and isn’t so great in ours). So the out-of-universe explanation is that they were making the show relatable to 20th century audiences. But I would argue that an in-universe explanation is that this era is the beginning of their era.

ChristopherLBennett
8 months ago
Reply to  Kent

I can accept that people in the 24th century would be interested in 20th-century Earth culture. What I have a problem with is that they apparently aren’t interested in 21st, 22nd, or 23rd-century Earth culture, or even early 24th-century culture other than Flotter & Trevis.

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Kent
8 months ago

True. While there are some post-20th century references (some of the poets mentioned in the DS9 episode “Muse” come to mind, some of the baseball in that series as well), it’s not well balanced at all.