Force-ghosts jumping from Imperial warships into apprentices’ bodies. Assassins falling in love with the Jedi they’re programmed to kill. Hapan queens trading one-night-stands for heirs. Reptilian crime lords spraying unsuspecting princesses with pheromones to broker a (eyebrow wiggle) trade. Jedi/Yuuzhan Vong hybrids caught between dead best friends/unrequited loves and their new, fallen-to-the-dark-side masters. Love—or, at least, sex and sometimes romance—in the Star Wars universe used to be a hot mess.
But what I grew up with as the Expanded Universe has now been mostly struck from the record—or, rather, redefined as “Star Wars Legends,” with an entirely new canon built around The Force Awakens. The introduction of new characters, through adventures in tie-in novels and comics as well as the new big-screen trilogy, brings new romantic dramas. And the surprising thing is, they’re all a lot more stable.
Spoilers for The Force Awakens.
Well, except for Han and Leia.
Happily Ever After Not Guaranteed
In the Legends books written in the 1990s and 2000s, the princess and the smuggler, who sparked so well in the original trilogy, made it to their Happily Ever After (or HEA, as the romance genre calls it) with fairly smooth sailing. Sure, Han did kidnap Leia to Dathomir to convince her to marry him, and their kids got snatched by dark side users more than once.
With the new continuity, we get a different story entirely—and while we haven’t gotten the exact timeline, here’s the current headcanon: Han and Leia settled into domestic bliss, but somewhere along the way things broke down. Maybe they sent Ben to Uncle Luke’s Jedi training school when he was far too young. Perhaps part of his experimentation with the dark side and getting to know his grandfather was because both of his parents either didn’t pay enough attention to him or didn’t tell him enough about his heritage. At any rate, Ben became Kylo Ren, and Han and Leia’s marriage couldn’t weather the death and betrayal left in his wake.
But what happened, when we started The Force Awakens and realized that they had not been in each other’s lives for years, was that we got a more interesting story. Nothing that we were promised at the end of Return of the Jedi has come to pass: The Empire hasn’t disappeared, Luke hasn’t resurrected the Jedi Order, Han and Leia haven’t settled into a lifetime of trading “I love you”/”I know”s. But who’s to say they ever had a chance? All we ever saw was them taking turns rescuing each other, fighting in Rebel bases, and macking on the Falcon—all high-pressure scenarios, nothing that’s any sort of foundation.
The past few years have seen the romance genre grapple with a sea change: Fewer authors feel beholden to the HEA, opting instead for more realistic endings where the couple can’t make it work, or where they get each other but lose something else. Writing for Ravishly, Noah Berlatsky emphasizes what’s most important about a romance novel, the optimism:
…I prefer to leave the door open for unhappy endings in my romance novels for some of the same reasons I like and admire and respond to the happily ever after when it comes. The thing I love about romance novels is the way they insist that love and happiness are important and real and true. You can show that insistence by defiantly giving your audience the happy ending. But you can also do it by acknowledging that some stories don’t end that way, while still honoring the impulse to believe that they should.
Similarly, in a discussion on All About Romance, author Jennifer Crusie explains why romance novels should provide the reader with a sense of catharsis, even if the ending is “just” instead of “happy”:
But a “just” ending can also mean a “sadder but wiser” ending (like Scarlett O’Hara’s) or a noble sacrifice ending (like the one in movie Sommersby) or a “pick-up-the-pieces-and-go-on” ending in which it’s clear the characters will not have perfect, easy lives thereafter, but are better off because of the struggles they’ve won and the life lessons they’ve learned.
So if HEA means a perfect marriage with perfect children in the offing, no, absolutely not, the romance doesn’t require this. But if HEA means all the pressing problems solved with hope for the future and a feeling of personal achievement and of justice served for both the characters and the reader, then, yes.
To the same end, Sarah MacLean, one of the romance genre’s wittiest authors (and one of the writers who convinced me to take the genre seriously), recently wrote a piece for Panels about how, for all of his swagger and dramatic heroics, Han Solo is not a romantic hero:
To be a real romantic hero, he has to change. He can change however he likes, but it helps if it’s because of love. But the reality is this: He never changes. He leaves her and only returns because he is kind of shamed into it. Because he knows he did wrong. He’s ashamed of himself. And he knows he can’t really live up to his ONE JOB, which is being Leia’s partner in all this horrible stuff. And then […] when he finally returns and they finally talk about losing their child, he says what is possibly the worst thing ever. “He just had too much Vader in him.”
[…] This isn’t a tragic love story because he dies. This is a tragic love story because Leia would have been better off with just about anyone else as a husband instead of this narcissistic, self-loathing man-child who can’t get out of his head enough to realize that his wife and the mother of his child might need him at one of the worst times of her life, and that… oh, hey, the world is ending and it’s not about him. I mean. Please. Sure, he’ll fly into a giant Death Star with every intention of not coming back alive, but fancy explosions will never ever make me forget that when shit got real, like really, emotionally, no-holds-barred-real… Han beat the hell out of dodge.
So far, the new Star Wars trilogy is all about the new generation finishing what Han, Leia, and Luke started—doing it again but doing it better—and as we see in The Force Awakens, that may include romance…
Love is Love
We knew that Poe Dameron was going to be a hunky X-Wing pilot. We knew that Finn would be an adorable stormtrooper-turned-hero. What we never anticipated was how much chemistry Oscar Isaac and John Boyega would have, nor how many little moments in The Force Awakens would seem to support Finn/Poe as certainly a fan ’ship and possibly even an official pairing. The lip biting and gripping each other and running into each other’s arms seems too deliberate, as if the writers were trying to tell us something without saying it outright.
Fandom christened them Stormpilot, with Tumblr and Archive of Our Own collecting a staggering amount of artwork, GIFs, fanfiction, and fan videos (and songs! listen to “It Suits You”) exploring every nook and cranny of this imagined relationship. You even have a straight-faced Isaac saying things like (on The Ellen DeGeneres Show) “Well, I was playing it as romance” (although if you watch the entire video, he doesn’t actually say who he was playing romance to):
Let’s level for a second. Most likely, Stormpilot will never be a reality outside of fandom. If franchise owners are afraid of putting one girl in the package, you can bet they won’t market (gasp) gay characters. (There has been plenty of fan speculation that Poe is bisexual or pansexual. However, I believe that if an onscreen Star Wars character is going to be explicitly not heterosexual, the screenwriters would have that person be gay or lesbian, to prevent confusion for people who don’t understand the queer community.) However, the gift that Finn/Poe has given us is the sheer ability to imagine this, the mere thought that this could happen.
The new books have a little more leeway in introducing queer characters. Lords of the Sith introduced us to Moff Delian Mors, an Imperial officer who loses her wife in an accident; Star Wars: Aftermath features Imperial turncoat Sinjir Rath Velus, who is interested only in men. But neither is perfect: One’s spouse is fridged, while the other must fight off the advances of a woman. So, Finn/Poe is still the closest thing we’ll have. With Episode VIII director Rian Johnson retweeting Stormpilot fan art, maybe we’ll see a more inclusive romance in the Star Wars universe.
The point is, you can’t discount the solid relationships that are being established by The Force Awakens.
Realistic Partnerships > Passion

In January, New York Magazine’s The Cut published Alana Massey’s piece “Marriage and Two Kids: A Most Scandalous Fantasy.” It’s a tongue-in-cheek (but also not) examination of how, despite more open-minded attitudes about dating, it has become taboo to want to just settle down. Take Shara Bey and Kes Dameron, who appear in the comic Shattered Empire: These sexy young things help win the Battle of Endor alongside Luke, Leia, and Han, participate in a few more top-secret missions, then go into retirement on Yavin 4 with their little son Poe. They get their HEA, and Poe eventually follows in his mother’s footsteps by becoming a pilot, first for the New Republic and then defecting to the Resistance.
Unlike Han and Leia, Shara and Kes seem to have a relationship built on more than just passion, a real partnership instead of just two spitfires trying and failing to match up. They also demonstrate something I think we’ll be seeing a lot more in the new trilogy: exploration of different kinds of families. Poe comes from a fairly stable household, though interestingly his mother didn’t talk much about the war and he had to learn about some of her more heroic moments after her death. His parents’ sacrifice of their exciting Rebellion lives to raise him, their loving attention to their child, makes him one of the more stable characters in The Force Awakens. Ben’s turn to the dark side is undoubtedly influenced in part by his parents’ tempestuous relationship. Rey’s parents are absent, though we don’t yet know whether it was by choice or by death. Finn’s biological parentage is N/A, as the First Order trains its recruits basically from birth and becomes the only family they know.
But we watch Finn grab Rey’s hand as they run to safety. We see Poe embrace BB-8 and Finn with equal fervor. We choke back tears as Han and Leia awkwardly, emotionally reunite. Love is suffused in the new Star Wars universe in a way it wasn’t before The Force Awakens. When this trilogy ends in a few years, it will be cathartic, and hopefully just, and that will still mean a Happily Ever After.
Natalie Zutter is really bummed that Mara Jade isn’t part of the canon anymore, because even though her and Luke’s story was soapy as hell, it was also excellent. Can Mara still be Rey’s mother? Read more of her work on Twitter and elsewhere.
I think one of the most important things that this film did, honestly, is show that people can have different kinds of love than just the sexual or romantic. People don’t have to be in a romantic relationship to love each other deeply, and I love seeing that in the Poe/Finn, Poe/BB-8, Finn/Rey, Han/Leia, and Han/Ben relationships. Seeing people have deep friendships without awkwardly shoehorning romance recently in TFA and Agent Carter has given me a lot of hope for Hollywood.
When I got to the end of the article, I started hearing The Beatles’ “All You Need Is Love” in my head.
Nice article, I enjoyed it. A couple of points:
Perhaps Sarah MacLean is right about Han; but since we don’t know what happened between ROTJ and TFA… she’s not being fair. Maybe Leia was even worse than him, throwing herself into work and essentially abandoning Han? We need the rest of the story to be able to say.
And Aftermath includes a couple made up of two females, Temmin’s uncle and her wife. Secondary characters, of course, but still, a healthy relationship.
I just want to point out that not all long term relationships have the participants living together. I’ve known people who will happily say they are in a long term committed relationship but live in different cities and sometimes go up to two years without seeing each other. It works for them, they are both very independently minded people and enjoy their lives. When we see Han and Leia in TFA, they do fall back into a warm relationship so maybe they are in a relationship like my friends. They both have stuff in their lives they want to get on with, and make the time they are together work harder. I know if you were to ask my friends whether they had their happy ever after, they’d say hell yes. People are weird, and Han’s relationship has a Wookie in it too.
@1 Yes, exactly! And still true even if Isaac was in fact playing Poe as attracted to Finn on the sly–Finn isn’t attracted to him, I think he knows that, and they can still love each other as war buddies. Plus, you’ve mentioned human/droid relationships, but also what about how much love we see between the three droids? (Last I checked, Star Wars droids don’t have programming or parts relevant to sexuality, but they do seem to be able to love.) And @@.-@, I think it was interesting writing that the screenplay left it open-ended whether Han and Leia had ever married, or whether they were a long-term on-again-off-again who had been basically off for a long while recently. Plus, I’d say that insofar as Rey has a happy ending at this point, it definitely includes Chewbacca, who I see turning into maybe the beloved uncle she never had. Especially since she can understand his language, but that is a whole other massive issue that I’m surprised we haven’t discussed yet and that’s totally off topic on this board.
I am also sad about Mara Jade… And hoping for gay-Poe. It’s the 21st century, a gay character shouldn’t be revolutionary. Sigh. Also mega mega hoping that Rey doesn’t get a love interest. That would actually be super revolutionary – to not give the young, pretty girl a romantic plotline, and just let her be her badass self instead.
What are you implying about Rey and Chewbacca? Because if it’s nothing more than him being an uncle to her, that’s not totally off topic on this board…
i think you are reading way too much into the Poe/Finn relationship
I’m not going to argue with your latter points, as I more or less agree, but I can’t really get behind your first point; or at least, I can’t feel super good about it. It’s actually what keeps me from really enjoying this movie as much as the other ones.
On an intellectual level, I can appreciate the storytelling opportunities here, and the drama, and the emotion, and all of that. It was very poignantly done. But on a purely subjective level, I just get very little enjoyment from watching characters I grew up with and love go through horrible things (to say nothing of having to experience possibly the only thing worse than your child dying, which is your child becoming a monster), even if is true that sometimes horrible things happen to people. Incidentally, that’s why I was a bit nervous about these movies to start with, because you know it had to go that way. So for me, it just didn’t add to the story, and I also disagree that it was completely destined that their relationship would have failed in the first place. My parents are a great example of a relationship that never should have lasted but did (my mom was 18, my dad was 20, he was a long haired musician hippie and they were engaged within a week and my mom left the job at AT&D my grandpa had gotten for her to sing in his band).
I’m certainly not denying there wouldn’t have been a ton of rough edges and personality conflicts to work out (from BOTH of them), and lots of hard times, but I’d like to think in at least some version of the universe they would have, and that also could have been interesting (nor am I expecting them to settle down in some white picket fenced spaceship living perfectly untroubled lives). And to be sure, I think there is room for all types of endings when it comes to romance that can be satisfying or edifying in some way (I have my own HEAs in my life that didn’t involve staying with the guy), but this isn’t the one I’ve picked in this particular story. But in the end, one can at least say that they still had an affectionate if not changed, relationship, and I think Han still went out more or less a hero. And I agree it’s good to see that General Leia stil isn’t taking any crap ;)
(Also, is it weird that I totally got all of your Legends references? Oh, and you totally forgot implied bug hive orgies ;) )
You mean is a lot more boring and anticlimactic now?
Sorry I still take Han/Leia’s intense hate-love banter any day over bland comic characters or Finn showing how much desperate he is to hook up with Rey.