Badass Digest claims to have a leak who has given them information on the plot of Star Wars Episode VII. Take this with a grain of salt, of course, (THE BIGGEST GRAIN) as the details are unconfirmed. But honestly… if it’s real?
I will not be happy.
Remember, there’s a chance this could be spoiler-y, if this leak turns out to be genuine. So here’s some maybe-not-even-spoiler space first.
Hey, remember Yaddle from Episode I? Whatever happened to Yaddle?
This is what Badass Digest had to say:
Imagine the standard Star Wars crawl, and when it ends the camera pans up to the stars. But instead of a spaceship zooming into frame we see… a hand! A severed hand, tumbling through space. A severed hand gripping a light saber.
…you’re kidding me with this, right?
That hand falls onto a desert planet, where it is discovered by characters who will be our heroes. One is Daisy Ridley. The other is John Boyega, who is playing someone trying to change his path in life (again, I’m keeping it vague here). They recognize the light saber as a Jedi relic and decide to return it to the proper people.
What upstanding young kids! Wait, so Ridley is not Han and Leia’s daughter? Booooooo.
Their quest takes them off world, and they meet up with Han Solo and Chewbacca, who aren’t flying around in the Millenium Falcon anymore but are piloting… well, that could be a spoiler. I’ll leave it. Anyway, Han and Chewie recognize the light saber as Luke’s, and they say they haven’t seen their friend in thirty years, since the events of Return of the Jedi.
So begins a quest to find the missing Jedi Master. Meanwhile, on an ice planet, nefarious forces are building a super weapon, one capable of destroying not planets but entire solar systems…
Bigger weapon! Gianter weapon! MORE WEAPON.
Watch out, people, the Sun Crusher is coming to life. For real this time. Although Kyp Durron probably won’t be flying it.
They then go on to say that John Boyega is really the star of the movie, killing the dreams of many fans who had hoped for a primary female lead in this trilogy. Rumor is that Boyega is a stormtrooper (or at least used to be one?), and he’s looking to change his life. In addition, they point out that this is basically a mirror to A New Hope, where Luke was searching for Obi-Wan, only this time everyone’s looking for Luke. (Who I would like to point out, found Obi-Wan in about a half hour, so the mirroring is not exact methinks.)
So Luke’s been an invisible nomad all this time? Han doesn’t seem to be with Leia (she’s not mentioned at all in this), and he hasn’t seen Luke in decades? This will basically be a let’s-get-the-band-back-together movie? It starts with a severed hand falling through space?
I’m having a hard time taking any of this seriously at all, but if I did, this would be pretty disappointing as you start extrapolating from those details. The idea that you defeat the galaxy’s evil only to break away from your friends and family, and never bother seeing them again, seems unnecessarily harsh. Also, dedicated bachelor Han Solo is not only boring, but EXACTLY LIKE INDIANA JONES. Lemme guess, if he’s not with Leia, they’ll meet up again in this movie and decide to get together? Daisy Ridley is their secret daughter? She’s actually played by Shia LaBeouf?
Hopefully, most or all of these details are incorrect—we already know that Han is going to be on the Falcon, since that’s the set that Harrison Ford got injured on, so this might just be a false bunch of info. (Unless Han gets his precious baby back in the film. Wow, that’s a thing that’s never been done before.) Fingers crossed that this is just one more to fuel the rumor mill until winter next year.
Didn’t we already see leaked photos of the Falcon? I’m pretty convinced this is BS.
That this rumor claims it won’t open with a starship shot casts suspicion on the the whole rumor. Also, Disney is far, far too business savvy to give Star Wars fans something this stupid.
Yeah this all sounds too stupid to be real.
Considering they got the whole original crew back for the new launch of the movies, I would hate for this to be true too.
Seems like if it was, the actors like Harrison Ford would say, “Uhm, no, don’t want to be part of that train wreck.”
I know they are ignoring the Expanded Universe stuff, but Luke had a duty to reestablish the Jedi Order. If he spent the last 30 years being a hermit, bad use of the Good Force.
“Lemme guess, if he’s not with Leia, they’ll meet up again in this movie and decide to get together? Daisy Ridley is their secret daughter? She’s actually played by Shia LaBeouf?” – This nearly made me laugh out loud, which would have been bad, as I had a mouthful of food at the time.
Anyway, meh, at this stage in the game, I’d guess that this leak is mostly BS.
I think the idea of the former stormtropper lead could be kind of interesting though. And actually, I think the idea of a disappeared Luke could be interesting too, although agreed that they should establish that he at least had fulfilled (or started to) his duty, and I hate the idea of the heroes just all losing touch for no reason.
Not to try to apply logic, but how does a severed hand gripping a lightsaber fall onto a desert planet without burning up in the atmosphere?
Must be a very large or very fireproof hand to fall to the ground from space and not burn up on re-entry.
So… what you’re saying is that Luke has gone Necromorph and Han Solo and Isaac Clarke are going to team up to form Team Space Badass?
The only severed hand that held a lightsaber was lost in Bespin. There is no way it could have fallen out of a gas planet and gotten into space in one piece.
This is all just desperate rumor to get attention and site hits, no real story points will be exposed until the couple months leading up to its release.
Anyone who has suffered through JJ Abrams’ TV shows or movies won’t be surprised by insultingly dumb scenes or plot developments. This sounds EXACTLY like Abrams. And, contrary to a comment on this thread Disney only wants to make money they obviously don’t care how dumb their movies are.
I really hope this is BS, although considering this is Abrams I wouldn’t be entirely surprised (especially in light of how much the movie has turned into a “one last hurrah” for the old cast). Abrams’s specialty is in making flashy, fast-paced movies with dubiously structured plots and a whole ton of pandering to old fanbases – see the New Star Trek films (especially the first one).
Is anybody else OPTIMISTIC about this movie? I mean, not the plot revealled above. I for one would actually be shocked if the Sequel Trilogy began with something so obviously ridiculous that a bunch of fans can point to its stupidity a year and a half before the movie is released. But I think the specific talents of Abrams are going to blend well with those of the screenwriter involved. Remember that Abrams wasn’t the sole writer of the New Trek films and nor is he the sole writer of Episode 7.
This is not the movie we are looking for. It can just go away. Move along.
@12 SerDragon
You’re right, Abrams wasn’t the sole writer on his ST films. They had to bring in Damon “Prometheus” Lindelof to fix the script for ST:ID.
It won’t matter who they’ve got writing the script for Star Wars EP 7. Abrams will make a mockery of it anyway.
I seriously doubt this is at all accurate. But I also fully expect to be disappointed by whatever the real story is.
@8 I’m hoping this is the Fifth Element tie-in I’ve always dreamt of…
I agree with you this is the worst possible alternative, not to mention nothing of it would be in line with the tons of books that have been written after episode VI, I don’t think even Disney would be so bold and fool as to break all that has been written, specially since most of the books are really good, more than enough to make a series of movies.
Also, dedicated bachelor Han Solo is not only boring, but EXACTLY LIKE INDIANA JONES.
Um, Han Solo has always been Indy minus archaeology.
I was going to say “minus archaeology plus aliens and spaceships” but then I remembered the Chrystal Skull trainwreck. And now I’ve made myself sad. Great…
@17, Lucasfilm/Disney has already stayed they are doing just that – none of the EU is considered canon (and never has been – the prequels weren’t afraid to contradict it either) and the movies will NOT be written with them in mind (although they may decide to cherry pick elements out of them). Also, all books published going foward will be part of a new canon.
Too lazy to find the link on Tor.com, but I’m sure you could google it.
I actually like the idea of at least some of the main cast scattering, particularly Luke. Though the EU is no longer considered cannon, it established Luke as a bit of a loner who was always off on his own projects. In Truce at Bakura, which was set right after RoTJ he left the military even though the Rebellion/Republic and characters like Leia did not want him to. In the EU he felt he had a duty to try to establish the Jedi Academy but he also felt he wasn’t worthy or capable of teaching other force users himself. That was the major Luke arc of the Zahn trilogy, seeking out Jorus/Joruus C’boath to complete his training and help him to establish a new Jedi order.
Imo, Luke has always kind of done his own thing it’s a part of his character.
At first read I had the same reaction as everyone else, this can’t be real. But after taking a step back and looking at the big picture, this actually makes sense. Keeping in mind that this is a new trilogy and not a stand-alone picture, the first movie is going to have to introduce the new characters that are going to carry us through two more films and establish the bad guy without the old characters getting too much in the way. If you throw all of the returning characters at us at once, any new people are going to be over-shadowed and forgotten. I’ll reserve judgement for now…….
As has been sufficiently pointed out; the severed hand would a) not escape the gravity well of a planet, and b) would not survive reentry onto a planet.
Unless it was the Doctor’s hand, maybe. Hmmmm…
re: handy re-entry
Of course the hand can survive re-entry. Why? Because Midichlorians, that’s why.
Midichlorians – saying fuck you to the fanbase without using profanity since 1999
The severed hand will be protected by the lens flare. From there we’ll get lens flare, lens flare, big explosion, a scene that takes place weeks after the first scene mysteriously still taking place during the first scene, someone will be a douchebag (possibly while eating a hard fruit of some sort), more lens flare, pew-pew-pew, big badboom, naked girl for no reason, lensflare,daddy issues, lensflare, slimy joke, red sphere, slimy joke, slimy joke, exposition during lens flare, explosion, roll end credits.
There you go. Not just the latest SW script, but every JJ Abrams Script Ever.
I truly don’t understand the resistance to midichlorians…but then my background is in microbiology, so I thought they were pretty much the coolest thing ever (and I also like the combination of mystical+physical).
@25, I hear ya. Don’t get me wrong, the prequels had it’s problems, but laying out legit biological explanation for Jedi powers is not one of them. Saying the midiclorians created a person was STUPID, but that’s down to the usage of the idea, not the concept itself.
My head canon is that Shmi was raped by a dark side force user, and then mind wiped afterward, which is why she doesn’t remember it, and Qui-Gon, who didn’t want to traumatize her all over again, went along with it. The Jedi Council meeting where he backs it up DIDN’T HAPPEN.
About the plot, the whole hand thing is terrible, and lifted directly from the EU, where it worked because it made sense. This doesn’t and is just stupid.
But this article is the same one that says Gwen Christie is an Imperial Commander, and OMG WANT(Is she Daala, can she be Daala, please?)
@25, 26:
Actually, the novel Darth Plagious explains this rather well. Anakin was created by Darth Plagious. SHMI didn’t know how she got pregnant, so she thought she was the Virgin Mary, basically. Its brilliant, because it ties what Sidious says to Anakin in with Anakin’s birth and the Dark Empire series of comics later on.
Darth Plagious was trying to create the perfect host for himself to jump into before his death. Darth Sidious never knew Plagious had succeeded.
Tying it in with Midichlorians also explains why Vader was so much weaker than Anakin in the Force. When Obi-wan burned him up, he lost a ton of those midiclorians connecting him to the Force and providing his raw strength.
But that doesn’t jive with what Sidious said in Attack of the Clones, which is that Plagious was looking for a way to stop death, and he succeeded, but his apprentice killed him anyway.
That power to stop death, that Anakin wanted(and Obi Wan had), was his whole reason for turning to Sidious.
So it doesn’t make sense to me that Plagious’ idea to stop death was to jump into another body, because that’s not a technique that Anakin could use and it’s surely not the technique Obi Wan used on Padme, then Luke.
EDIT: To add, it’s been awhile, and I may be recalling it wrong, because now I remember something being said about how what he developed would only work on others, not himself.
Interesting bit of kismet though, if Plagious created Anakin, then Sidious killed Plagious, then the person Plagious created killed Sidious.
Its a retcon… Plageous was going to defeat death by cheating… And swapping his consciousness into a new body, like Palpatine does in Dark Empire. And Palpatine was lying to Anakin, telling him what he wanted to hear… Anakin was, ultimately, a fool. That’s kind of the point. Its all immaterial now. Not canon.
@26 Aeryl
Saying the midiclorians created a person was STUPID, but that’s down to the usage of the idea, not the concept itself.
Exactly. It’s not midichlorians but the way Lucas executed the idea.
“So, there’s this thing called “The Force” that some people magically have access to…”
– “No, nononononono, it’s not magic!”
“It’s not?”
– “No, there is a scientific explanation. See, there are these micro-organisms, “midichlorians”, in the bloodstream–”
“Yeah, but how do they work?”
– “Magic!”
The main character in the new SW trilogy is named “Daisy”? I think not.
I don’t know, I didn’t interpret the midichorlians/virgin birth that way. Just because we don’t understand how it works doesn’t mean it’s magic in the unexplainable sense. I haven’t read the Plageus book yet, but I do think it will be interesting to see that perspective of explaining how it worked. After all, we just know there was some kind of prophecy about such thing, not necessarily the details fo how it happened.
@31 – Daisy refers to the actress.
@27: laying out a biological explanation for the Jedis powers was completely pointless because the Star Wars movies are not science fiction, they’re fantasy with spaceships. As such magic was the only explanation that was needed.
I thought the plot was .
Han and Chewbaka are going to Chewbacka’s family for some celebration of a Wookie holiday, life day or something. But get hold up by remnants of storm troopers who are trying to contineu the emperors vision and do what they were ordered and made to do .
The remants then go to to chewbacka’s family’s house and holds them ransom and tell Han solo to stop a ufo that holds the reincarnated remains of crystal skulled beings and orders him to kill them once again and get the skulls so they can power a new deathly freeze ray to freeze planets and make them like Hoth.
Well here is where finaly Luke comes in, as Chewbacka’s mother finds a moment to break free and call him, weird thing is Luke seemed to have gone insane after his father died, and realised he kissed his sister and liked it, that he answers the phone with “Why so serious ?” He lives on the planet of Joda trying to honour Joda and staying away from the force as much as he can as it brough him only pain.
the rest i cant remember, but i am sure i heard this was the plot.
ahw ell what ever it will be , it will be a better love story then twilight.
@35 tibletoad
ahw ell what ever it will be , it will be a better love story then twilight.
The phone book is a better love story than twilight. Hell, a white paper sheet is a better love story than twilight, the former at least still got potential.
A lot of negativity here. I guess after the prequels it’s somewhat deserved, but people seem to have already made up their mind that it’s going to suck.
This “leak” has got to be BS. The movie is going to be awesome and completely redeem the series. I guess I’ve already made up my mind too. :)
This is pure b.s. I don’t believe a word of it.
So in addition to the absurdity of a hand falling to a planet surface without burning up, there is another equally ridiculous absurdity: how the hell did the hand, which we last saw plummeting down toward the surface of Bespin (or whatever’s down there) suddenly reverse direction and attain the needed velocity to escape Bespin’s gravitational pull?